Back to the Rocks

I was looking with her.

I climbed out on the rocks, too.

I had no idea what before her/me.

Boulders behind, above,

smooth followed by choppy waters.

I want to tell her, myself, be careful.

You are loved. You are safe. You will soar.

The little girl already knows about goodbyes.

Recognizes when she leaves her former self.

She is a protector.

She is protected by God.

She is not afraid to climb and go further.

Fly far away.

She is changing every day.

We cannot grasp this version of ourselves 

and know it the same tomorrow.

Scratch out, topple down, disappear, fall into the water

down, down, our bodies, physical, our personalities, soul, sleek

scared, brave, courage, cared for. 

What happened to the girl in the New Mexico mountains?

I never spoke to her.

She never knew I saw her.

Hmmm, did she see me?

I could have reached out to give her my hand.

She did not seem to need it.

Is she on a cliff somewhere now looking out

as I am observing myself at sea at 43?

Now I am 46 in Forest Hills.

I feel the need to say goodbye old friend.

Goodbye.

I am here.

You are there.

Goodbye, hello.

Were you waiting for me?

I hold and comfort you in the air, in the water

Yes, it's good we stay and leave every day.

I have you. You are not alone.

You do not have to keep it.

Use what's inside your pants pockets however you like.

Arrange the water and rocks however you desire.

Color it all

keep the photograph of us in black and white or both

Preseve this picture of us

hang it in a museum

show your niece

strangers in thrift stores

Goodbye!

Close the door, catch the train, mail a letter

end the call, go to bed, throw in trash,

push stop, recycle, donate, rip apart, chew it up and swallow

hang, say out lout every day, hello goodbye

Some things bring pleasure, 

but it's not her anymore

Sometimes she says burn it

Lose it in a fire

sometimes someone stole it and that is fine.

Sometimes it no longer matters

because it's in the other room

Sometimes it's dusty and annoying

and takes up space

What is new space filled with?

When you are new and not the same person

you remember being at the island of rocks

with no adult supervision

The dad has wandered off holding a baby.

What is new space filled with 

when a reminder is not an award but it is not a bullet

Personal

not wrong

way to say or do a goodbye.

Today it is this

What happens when the space is clear

and you think of this girl, us.

Where does she belong?

Room 1

Room 2

Goodbye house!

Will I create and perform Rooms Within Me?

My cup is full.

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