Hobo's Poems

To My Inner Self: What would you like to reveal to me tonight? What do I need to know for January 22, 2015? For almost February, for the role of Professional Me, Poet, Career Changer, Daughter, Wife. Change will happen for the better like I am grown up, like I am 37, content, satisfied, achiever of success. Am I pushing too hard? I confront pain, victimhood, time, and ego.  

  The little girl with straight blonde hair at the edge of the rocks What is the little girl looking for? I notice she could fall The possibility of it  No one is watching but me A man, likely her dad, is holding a baby walking slowly around the top of the hill How did she climb down to the edge of the rocks? Is she 8? I was 22 that day I saw her Where does the girl belong? The girl belongs everywhere I see secureness in her She is steady in that spot looking out at the never-ending lake of possibilities heep of rocks jutting up behind her danger of how to crawl over the jagged edges how to get back to her family and go somewhere else I saw myself in her  I took the photograph of her in 1999 a piece for my final exhibit in a journalism class last semester of my journey at NMSU The image was captured on the nikon camera i did not take care of the one where i developed all of my own photos in the dark room telling Sterling, my professor, about the end of my parents' marriag...

It’s deep down inside me from long ago. channeled at him, my dad, little Jenny-me and God, All of US! Rage Blooms within ME! Rage Blooms within ME I buried the anger in the desert covered it with beautiful magenta flowered cactus, cutting my finger on the sharp needles of self - doubt Labeling myself average, unorganized, chubby.  Growing up  I was  Angry about  His infidelity The photos of him with another   Moms blindness Type 1 diabetes Me, sighted guide at the White Sands Mall Who will we run into from my sixth grade social circle? This is about the time being different turns to discomfort Age 12, setting insulin in needles when he is on fake fishing trips or supposed lions conventions  Anger over What I could not control No one seeks out/uncovers why my grades plummet   “RAGE BLOOMS WITHIN ME!”  My eyes have it. Camouflage, golden green swirl, metallic.  My eyes are a bath tub to wash in, a swimming pool of acrylic war paint ...

The conversations the beauty of looking at you and hearing you Schnippers sipping eating listen laugh traffic horns music and news cooking and advice our specific hold me hugs okay silence no worries your vision of me across the table cup of coffee In your hand oh how the meetings were are treasures still dont think I did not know because we were fully in it ladies lattes and friendship romance woes clothing styles questions' work troubles or accomplishments every chat our banter about the band what is happening with who national news across the table oh mom tell me now I am picking you up in Albuquerque we are finding a church with good music sandwiches and soup beads and bracelets nearby Your love is my magic clock I can do this I am doing this I help others every act of service Next phase creation level company let me talk to you and keep your encouragement close to my heart our visit now is happening this weekend tonight